"Ugh, too much damn paperwork..." I state as I go through the seemingly endless slog of articles that are balanced precariously on my cramped desk. I press the heel of my hands into my washed out eyes, The lack of feeling makes my shoulders sag. as i should be angry with the co-worker who dumped all of their paperwork for their case down on me. It was an 'easy case' and a cheerful, 'you'll have it done in no time!' That drained all of the energy I once had when I walked through the steel, double doors. I stand up with effort and sigh in relief as my knees and ankles crack into place. My eyes widen as I look down at the small alarm clock on my desk, I had worked through two of my breaks and my lunch.
Great. I walk over to the door of my office and out to the break room where a few stragglers remain after their breaks. The intense smell of cigarettes and something else foul smacks me in the face as i open the doors. All of the people look over and give a forced smile. None of my co-workers liked me, not even the supposed 'yes' man, Rodney. The looks they give me feel like knifes were driven in my back, I know why they hate me. I've heard the whispers, 'Lawyers slave', 'Firms pet' and many more. I walk over to the only fridge in the entire building and pull out an empty container with my name written on the lid. I was looking forward to my lunch today. I had a self-made alfredo that I had the night before, not the kind one can buy in a jar, a homemade Alfredo sauce put over home made noodles with chicken. I stand there looking at the container in a blank stare, I was always taught not to say anything if I had nothing good to say. But the flood of anger and contempt for my peers was growing faster than my own thoughts. My grip tightens on the container, as I look back at the people I share the same room with.
"Oh, sorry. I thought that was what my wife packed me, she has very similar hand writing." It was Samul that spoke up, his Boston accent lilting as he spoke in mock sympathy. His mouth is quirked up in a prideful smirk as he walks closer with a swagger in his step, as if he fell a deer.
My breathing picks up as my thoughts swirl in my head, my overactive imagination, imagining what I could do to him. Strangle him with his tie, tackle him and stomp his face in, gouge his eyes out with my spoon. Something primal falls over my mind as I take a step closer towards him. My eyes must have gave something away as he takes a step back with a strange look on his face, all of that arrogance gone and is replaced by a outward look of fear.
I take another step forward. 'I could stab my fork into his throat, it would shut him up.'
"Hey, are you okay?"
The sound of my employers voice stops the thoughts and pulls that primal blanket of feeling off of my head and I look over towards the older man. He is the nicest man in the business, the man who saw potential in me while everyone else only saw a woman with nothing. "Uh, Sir?"
"I asked if you were okay?" The worry in his voice evident, as he knows how my peers treat me like a personal rug. His wispy hair and old blue eyes ooze comfort and remind me of my grandpa.
"Um, No Sir. I feel Ill, do I have the permission to head home?" I needed to head home before i do something I regret.
"Yes, you can head home, just don't forget to double check you logged in everything."
His voice helps to ground me to reality and I nod my head. I walk out of the break room with a rush to my gate as the need to move push me forward. I walk back to my cramped office and back what was supposed to be my lunch into my bag. I sit back down and check all of the information one last time before logging off. The chair groans as I stand up from it. I take a breath as my head falls onto the desk. I feel so tired, yet so pumped. My body itches to move, to run.
Yet my head feels like a pound of lead. Maybe I am getting sick…
I huff as I stand up, with my bag. I ignore all the looks I’m given as I walk right out the door to my car. The sound of the ignition turning lites my heart on fire as the old engine roars to life. A thrill I lost long ago fills my head, I grin maniacally. The music turns on and the song ‘Iron’ by Woodkids fills the car. The percussion takes my heart as I put on my seat belt and shift the gear and rip out of my parking spot. I floor the pedal as I rush to the exit onto the highway. I look around my breathing picks up as I watch the other cars whizz by. I catch a clear spot and gun my old baby down the highway. I gasp as the speed picks up fast. I can feel my heart thrumming throughout my body as a feeling of euphoria fills my head. A loud smile crosses my face as I revel in my new feelings.
The drive back to my house is much faster than normal and felt better. I turn into the courts of my apartment complex and drive slowly down the streets and turn into my driveway. I park my car, grab my things and head inside, in a tired daze from my drive and the emotional rollercoaster that I was on. I open my door and lock it behind me.
The sound of a meow pulls me out of my daze, I smile as I see my black cat strut his way over and rub against my legs. His green eyes stare up at me, and blink slowly.
“Hello, my Lugh.” I reach down and pet him with a smile. “You’ve kept the house safe?”
He meows back as he walks back to his sunny spot.
I hang my purse and coat on the hooks and strip my heels off. I groan in relief as my feet hit the floor. “God, I hate those things.”
I walk over to my small bedroom and pull my fluffy pajamas out of the drawers and walk over to my bathroom, I strip down and take a nice, long, hot shower. I quickly dry off and change into my pajamas I walk out while brushing my hair and walk into the kitchen and grab a bag of pumpkin seeds. I reach into one the higher cupboards and pull down a bottle of aged Redbreast whiskey and a rather large glass. With my prizes I settle down into a plush arm chair. I set my liquor to the side and reach for my favorite book, its cover is worn with age and the pages are yellowed and bent from the continuous dog earring. The cover is a worn green and the gold lettering has faded but can still be read. ‘Irish Folklore And Fairytales’.
I reach over and pour myself a glass and open up the book to my previous place. The book starts off with a new chapter labeled ‘Leprechauns’.
The night flies by as I lose myself in the emerald groves and the wistful magic. The feeling of peace overtakes my whole body as I linger between the two planes of dreams and reality. I jump when I hear my cat purring beside me. I look over and close the book in my lap. The glass in my hand now dry, as I set the book down. I smile as I reach down and pet Lugh. “I love you my boy.”
“…I love you too, my human.”
“Alright it’s time for bed.” *I stand up a little wobbly on my legs as I trudge up to my room I walk into the bathroom brush my teeth as my mind replays the myth on leprechauns. They loved cream and bread, humans used to leave a plate of freshly baked bread and a bottle of cream at their window sill. If a leprechaun saw it, and liked the bread its said they would leave a lucky coin on the window sill. An image of my grandmother leaving a loaf of bread and a bottle of cream on the sill flashes by.
In my tipsy haze I tell myself why not? I could use a little luck.. I finish with my nightly routine and walk back down to the kitchen and grab a loaf of rosemary and cheese bread I had made the day before and one of the bottles of half and half I have in my fridge and walk up to my room. I open up my window and set the loaf of warm, untouched bread wrapped in aluminum foil. I also set the bottle of half and half next to the bread and close the window but for a small crack. I walk over and turn off the light and tuck myself into bed, hoping that what my grandmother did works for me as well.